It is very hard for me to believe that we are rounding the corner of another anniversary of your adoption. I cannot believe that the 3 year mark is about to pass. I am forever trying to not be at home or even in town when this time of year comes around as it is hard sometimes to be in the very place where we held you last. This year I am working on the 29th but only a half day. This time next year I will most likely not be in the very place where we held you last so I want to be able to cherish those feelings those memories and even the tears that came with it all. I know that it sounds weird but I feel like once we are gone we are going to forget (granted I am not sure how that will ever be possible.) I feel those feelings quiet often and they are just as strong as they were the day you left. I am able to better control myself than I was back then. But I still feel.
This year I have had a lot more good days than bad. I think it is because I knew what to expect when it came to updates and photos of you. I have not received anything this year to date. While it is hard for me it is what I expected. I have not gotten anything since last November I believe it was. I can only imagine how much you have grown and what a precious little girl you must be. Hard to believe that you are almost 5. Seems like the older I get the quicker the time passes. While in some aspects I think that is a good thing in others I don't think it is. I have come to terms that what they want and what I want is two totally different things but I still stand on the decision I made for you and the decisions that they are making for you. They feel that they are the right ones and I have to respect that. I don't feel anger towards their decisions or hate. I don't feel anything but respect. They are still doing exactly as we asked them to do for you. They are protecting you and making sure that you are growing up with the best of everything. I just know that you are doing wonderful. Thriving and enjoying your life. I could not ask for anything better.
Last night we were sitting on the couch and J put's her hand down the side of the couch (for what reason I have no clue) and she says "Hey there is cereal down there" My response was simply yep. There is still cereal in the side of the couch from when you were here with us. I knew there was a plastic doughnut in there from your play kitchen but I didn't know about the cereal. I think I really need to take the vacuum hose to that this week.
We are looking at being out of the state of Florida this time next year. We looked at a couple places while we were in Nevada but we have not made any longer term commitment to anyone but ourselves that we are making this move. Daddy E got a promotion at work and is now a manager. He worked so hard for this position and has been with the company since before you were born so it was very exciting and important to him at the same time. I work in the pharmacy at the store I work at and for the most part I love what I do. I just don't think I love where I do it at. I am looking to get out of the retail side of the pharmacy industry and move into either hospital or private. I like my customers for the most part (There are some that are really difficult and rude). So making the transition into private or hospital will be a little rough because I will not have the one on one contact with the patients like I do currently. BUT that is alright. I also have my name in the hat for a position that has nothing to do with the license that I hold but the money is good and so are the benefits. I guess I could not ask for more and I would be dumb if I passed up at least the opportunity to try for it.
So Kiddo that is what is going on in our lives right now. I wonder what is going on in yours. Happy 3 Years with Daddy D and Mommy Y and Brother D. I know they are cherishing you and loving you just as much as we do here. You are missed little lady very much so.
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