It has been awhile since I have written to you. I feel bad that it is has been so long actually. So many things have changed in that time. I was in Las Vegas October 1 when the shooting at the Route 91 music festival happened. The very next day I put the deposit down on our place in Las Vegas. Nothing was deturing me from moving. Shortly after that I made the drive from Fl to Las Vegas with three cats and a car full of stuff to start a new. Also In October I was diagnosed with Endometrial Hyperplaish. basically a long word for excessive utern lining and constant bleeding. After many tests blood work and biopsys I am having my uterus removed 5 days from now. It is now going to be a definate that I will no longer have anymore children. I have been ready for this in my head for a long time and I thought I was ready for it in my heart as well but I am not so sure now. I know there are many out there maybe even you who say oh Thank god she can't pro create anymore. IT is not so much about being able to as it is just having that option. Once that option is taken away it becomes real that I will never feel another kick. I will never pick another name. I will never have another baby. I really am alright with you being the last one. You always save the best for last right? I think the thing that i am not ok with yet is the option. It feels different when you have your options taken away Vs when you say you will never.
Tomorrow is March 1st in Las Vegas and well everywhere else as well but I am looking forward to the spring in the Valley. New Flowers at the conservatory more people on the strip and more fun to be had by all. I am ready to be recovered from this ordeal already and I have not even had the surgery yet.
One day at a time.
No comments:
Post a Comment