A selfish thought.

Tonight I had a selfish thought. As it turned midnight and the house was quiet because your daddy had gone off to bed it left me in the living room alone. Just me and my thoughts. I had a selfish moment. A moment where I thought to myself I didn't think how lonely late nights would be without you. You use to keep me up all hours of the day and night and it use to drive me crazy. Is it nuts of me to want even one of those nights back now? There are going to be many lonely days and nights ahead in the next 15 years I am sure. With every single one of them I will be wishing that you were here. My heart is heavy tonight for you. I miss you so much that it hurts. I feel like I am missing so much. Like I gave my whole world away. There have been so many times recently that I have caught myself saying I want my baby back. You will always be my baby but you are theirs and that is who you were always meant to be with. I love to see your smile in a photo. Those beautiful brown eyes that captivate your heart with just a turn of your head. You have everyone in the room wrapped around your little finger in less than a second. You will always have me wrapped around your little finger. You just turned 37 months old a few days ago. I didn't write on that day but i did think about you most of the day.  I think about you everyday. Today is just one of those days where my emotions are getting the best of me.