Finding it hard

I will admit that since February 28th I am finding it hard to deal with these dates. You have been with D and Y for 520 days or 12486 hours or even 749185 minutes. You were only with us for 602 days. That day were you have been with them longer than you were with us is approaching faster than I can even process at this point. I have not gotten any new photos since December and it is really starting to bother me. All of this is really starting to bother me. I feel like a zombie and a raving bitch most of the time. I want to scream and yell but it will do no good. I want to take it all back but the only thing that is going to solve is my pain. I know I can't do that to you. You are happy you are healthy loved and taken care of. That should be enough for me Right?I feel like I am slowly loosing my mind. I miss you. No amount of anything is going to change how much I miss you. When I put all the numbers down in my blog it does not make it feel any better in fact it just stares at me from the screen. I guess we will leave it at that for now. Today is not a very good day at this point. Hope to turn that around.