Happy Valentine's Day Jv.

Happy Valentine's Day Jv. I bought you a big beautiful card this year only to find out that I am not allowed to send it to you right now. I will place it with your Birthday card from last week and wait for the day where you are able to see them. I also made you a flip photo book of your sisters, dad and myself from 2o13 but I can't send that either. So it will go into the box as well. I started this blog today as a suggestion from your daddy and I think that it was perfect. I have other blog sites but this one will be just for you. One day you will be able to sit down and read every single thing the good, the bad, and even the ugly of it all. I am not perfect and never claimed to be. I only wanted what is best for you and I gave it all unselfish-lee. While in the mean time it hurts me to know that I have no idea when I will be able to see you face to face. When you will be able to get the gifts that I have chosen for you. You can never put a price tag on the love that I have for you or the memories that are in my head and heart but I continue to find things that remind me of you almost daily. Some I pass by others I purchase and tuck away in the hopes that one day everything will be as I was told it would be. Maybe I misunderstood? Maybe I was not as smart about it as I thought I was. Whatever the case may be I at least know that you are cared for and loved no matter what. Some days that is enough and some days it does not even begin to heal the pain but it is at least some sort of assurance that I did the right thing. That we did the right thing. So just as the title says Happy Valentine's day Jv. you have officially spent more Birthday's and more Valentine's day with D (Dad) Y (mom) and your big brother D.  This year you will meet another goal in this walk where you will have been with them longer than you were with your daddy and I. I am not looking forward to that day at all because it will mean that there will be more days where I have not seen your face than days where I did.  We love you Jv.  From the bottom of our hearts we love you. 
EDITED.......I originally stated that you have officially spent more Birthday's and Valentine's days with D Y and D than you had with us but that is not true yet. I still have another year until that is the case for those days. Why? Because I have the day you were born and 9 days after that (Your First Valentine's day). I am grateful to be able to retract my statement earlier and say I have another year until that milestone. By then maybe I will be another year stronger. No more surprises please.