A glimmer of hope and one step at a time.

For the first time in over 2 years E and I went to Disney World. It was the first time we walked into the park since you have been gone. I wanted to document this moment. It was a HUGE step for me and I was thankful that your dad and my Jen were there to experience it with me. The first few steps were hard. There were children all around.  A 1,001 and one ways of parenting all in one park at one time was a lot to take in. Seeing little ones your age was hard to see but also it helped me. I could no go into the laugh floor and even the Buzz light year ride was hard without you but I did it. It was the first ride we rode. We got to experience the New Seven Dwarfs run away Mine Train as well and it was a great ride but it will be awhile before I do that one again. We even rode Haunted Mansion. does not seem like we did that much but it was a big day for us. We were happy with what we accomplished and I did it without crying even tho I am sitting here now crying. Walking into the Bear Jamboree area i almost lost it because I have photos that your D and Y sent me and I knew that at least one point after you left us you were standing in that very area on your own Disney experience. I felt close to you for that moment. I was constantly looking in the crowd because you never know  who you are going to see. Maybe one day While i am looking around I will see your beautiful face in the crowd. Until then I will return time after time and maybe one day I will be able to go on the Laugh floor.

On the way home I got this exact message from the Adoption Attorney.......Hello. I received an email from D saying that they write you an update and that they were getting photos developed for you and that they were sending them to my office.

I responded to her thankful for her efforts in getting photos from your D and Y. and that I look forward to seeing them when she gets them.

I hate that I had to take such a drastic measure to get photos that were already promised to me. I guess your D took me a little more seriously and decided it was in his best interest.

So all in all not a bad Monday. I am not holding my breath on photos and I am waiting with bated breath to see what type of update they wrote. I can only hope that it is not more heart crushing news. Seems like every time I get an update it is something negative and not positive. Here's to fingers crossed.