Yesterday my phone started ringing at an usual time for a Monday. After all who would be calling me on a Monday? Your daddy is at work and J is with me all day and she was just in the other room because we had not left the house yet. I tend to ignore voice mails. To say it is crazy it is true but I am no longer a huge talker when it comes to the telephone. I use to talk for hours to people but I find as I get older I would much rather text. I think it is because it is easier for me to hide how I really feel in a text message vs talking to someone over the phone. Anyway back to the subject. I ignored the phone call and let it go to voice mail. I sat down at the computer a little bit later and found out that the person who was trying to call me was someone that was going to be working with me for placement for my externship after I am done with my classes 2/9/2015. She is also the person who is going to be working with me to place me for employment as well. Everyone knows I have dove into school full force since you left. With one degree already obtained in the two short (But feel like forever) years that you have been gone I am about to grasp the second one within months. The first one looks pretty on the resume that is about all I can say about it. But this one, This one I am looking forward to actually putting to work. I have worked hard on this one and I have maintained an A average across the board for this program. So after getting the car to the tire shop, a little shopping with J while we waited for it and lunch I called this woman back .Of course by that time I had to leave a message. She returned my call a short while later while we were still at the tire place and the rest of the conversation unfolded before my ears. She wants to place me in a position where she has the best success rate for employment straight from externship. WOW. Granted I am not thrilled about having to work in a retail environment with this degree I know that I have no other choice if I want to get where I really want to be.
*Side note. Ever since you left I have not been much of a people person. I am actually more of a homebody and maybe that is one of the reasons things have been so hard for me since you left. Some days it just feels impossible to even lift my head off the pillow let alone face the world . Sad I know Even pathetic maybe but none the less it's the truth.
Anyway back to the topic at hand. It has been brought to my attention from all of this that I am about to enter back into the working world. A world of people and personalities that I have not had to mingle with in a long time. I sometimes feel like I have lost the ability to adapt to other people's personalities and have found that most of them just piss me off. I have worked with people prior to my 2 year sabbatical for 16+ years. I see how parents treat children in public and I just want to smack them and tell them wake the hell up. Be thankful for that baby. Be thankful he or she is still with you. *Adoption was my decision and still standing on the fact that I am alright with it (that will never change). It still makes me appreciate all the time I had with you and even your siblings that much more. I see the way people treat each other in public and it has the same effect. I just want to smack em. I have no filter these days. It takes a lot for me to walk the other direction and I am told more often than not by your daddy and J that they are proud of me for behaving as they call it. (Sometimes even adults have to behave) I have not worked in the 2 years 1 month and 11 days since you left. I don't even know if I remember how. One foot in front of the other I am sure. It's like riding a bike right? Then my mind wanders to I wonder if you know how to do that yet? Knowing your parents you are a pro at it by now. This is how my brain works these days. Is the working world ready for me? Am I ready for it?
Ready or not (and believe me I'm not) here I come.
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